As the tears run down my cheeks...

I can't get you out of my head...I want to reach out to you, but I know it will only end up hurting me more...and making both our lives harder. I made mistakes, I think you made a mistake in forgiving me. You should have walked away at Christmas, you should have not answered all the times I came back....I want to smell you, feel the warmth of your skin as I sleep. I want to love you, I always make so many mistakes. I"m tired of the mistakes...I really am...I want to hear your voice in a place other than my dreams. I think we could have been great, had I not been a whore. I've always been a whore. I am going to do my best to be my best if I ever get a chance again. I want to smile again...and laugh...and feel the kind of love you gave me...I wish we had all the chances that we should have had, I wish I would have worked harder, tried harder, got us outta that house and on our own...we might have made it then..we might have been strong enough, you might have had enough control then....but we will never know as I struggle to let go...